Gay Activists TKO Duck Dynasty In Very First Round

That was a quick fight. Within about 24 hours of the furor over Phil Robertson’s anti-ass and pro-vagina comments, A&E removed him from the Duck Dynasty show he’s headlined into the most successful basic cable show in the history of that gloriously retarded medium.

It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.

That’s the quote that got gay activists to Defcon 1 in their war room, determined to make Phil Robertson choke on the pages of his own bible. It was like watching the U.S. bomb Iraq during one of the many times we seem to do that. Endless sorties of the world’s most advanced air weaponry technology taking on dudes on the ground with rusty handguns and bad mustaches. Surrender was onl a matter of when, not if. Phil Robertson was also quoted in GQ on some insensitive comments about how black folks in Louisiana didn’t mind being segregated cotton pickers before The Great Society social programs. A little naive, at best. But let’s be honest, talk about cotton picking doesn’t come close to ass dicking in terms of suiciding your career in the media.

A&E is now facing backlash over the backlash from the show’s mighty strong faithful. They’ve lost either way. They might as well start looking for the next wacky family to turn into a TV show because people find their own families lame and boring. And they best prep them not to speak of their love of vaginas. Nobody needs another reaming.