Anger Rehab Made Chris Brown So Angry

You’d think that violent outbursts in Anger Rehab were pretty common. Sort of like counselors discovering Courtney Love’s special rehab pillow cases were made entirely out of edible Oxycodone. Just a by-product of the environment. Apparently not so according to TMZ (who now uses ALL CAPS for emphasis since hiring teams of pre-menstrual high school girls to cover their celebrity beat):

Chris Brown went into a VIOLENT RAGE while in rehab earlier this month for his anger issues … TMZ has learned … throwing objects and breaking them. We’re told the rehab facility wanted him OUT after the incident … and that’s why he bailed after only 2 weeks.

According to TMZ, who is either right or about to forget to print a retraction, the D.A. is going to ask for Chris Brown’s Rihanna-beating probation to be revoked today. Getting kicked out of rehab does look pretty bad on the bullshit celebrity ‘I’m not a criminal, I’m sick’ legal defense resume. Is today the day Chris Brown finally gets his comeuppance behind lock and key? If I close my eyes, I can already see Chris sobbing out Look at Me Now while being given a forcible colonoscopy, but my Magic 8 Ball here says the outlook is not so good. The Magic 8 Ball is completely random, though still statistically 47% more accurate than TMZ.