Miranda Kerr And Orlando Bloom Splitting Up

“After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation. Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family.” — a joint bullshit statement from Miranda and Orlando.

Three years might be a record for a celebrity marriage. Except the ones where the dude is on the down low, those seem to go on forever. Trust me, I sent a 20th anniversary gift to John and Kelly a couple years ago. Marrying a supermodel, how long can that really last? One day you’re starring in the Pirates of the Caribbean and models are trying desperately to hang out with you in VIP rooms of nightclubs, the next day you’re some off-Broadway cuckold riding a motorscooter around Soho trying to figure out who your wife is banging behind your back. That’s got to feel like you just slipped through the cloud in heaven and fell into the sulfur pits. I pity the fool.

Photo Credit: Kora Organics