Lady Gaga Sued By Former Assistant

Meat couture enthusiast Lady Gaga is being sued by a former assistant and friend for being such a demanding bitch. The lawsuit claims that in the time Jennifer O’Neill worked for lady freakshow she basically had no life and wasn’t paid overtime for being at the star’s fucking beck and call 24/7. She had to sleep in the same bed as Lady Gaga just in case she needed anything in the middle of the night. This has got to be tough as I imagine Lady Gaga sleeps in some weird places like in a cocoon of bear placentas or upsidedown like a bat. O’Neil says she didn’t know it was going to be like that. Really? You didn’t know stars can demand all of your fucking time? Lady Gaga says,

“You don’t get a schedule. You don’t get a schedule that is like you punch in and you can play … at your desk for four hours and then you punch out at the end of the day. This is when I need you, you’re available.”

A fair point. As fucking ridiculous as caring fo the needs of one of these pampered twats is, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you go to work for them. Especially for someone as fucking weird as Lady Gaga. You are going to end up making butter sculptures of Valdimir Putin and getting hemeroid cream for fat drag queens at 5am.