50 Shades Of Grey Fan Panties in a Bunch Over Announced Casting

Fifteen minutes after that dude who walks funny on Sons of Anarchy and Melanie Griffith’s daughter were cast as the two simulated sex leads in 50 Shades of Grey, the online angry frenzy began. This included yet another petition on Change.org, where miserable people go to have their life’s disappointments validated by tons of girls named Jodie. In this case, the bored suburban housewife and nancy boy outraged type petitioners are demanding Alexis Bledel and Matt Bomer be re-cast as the leads.

MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT WE ARE DOING THIS TO CRITICIZE AND MAKE FUN OF DAKOTA JOHNSON AND CHARLIE HUNNAM …. IT’S NOT TRUE, WE ARE DOING THIS BECAUSE WE WANT AND DESERVE TO BE HEARD. IT’S 2013, IT’S A NEW ERA, THE READERS ARE AS IMPORTANT AS THE DIRECTOR OR PRODUCER … WE ARE THE CRITICAL. WE DESERVE RESPECT.

What you deserve is a good boot kick into your man twat. You’re not all that much worse than the nerd boys all pissy over Ben Affleck being chosen to portray the next Batman. But at least those goobers largely gave up after about 24 hours and went back to being listless mouth breathers. You don’t like the casting choice in the film? Great, take your angry man-woman army and boycott the movie. That 1/5 of one percent of the potential audience loss is going to crush the studios. Your wrath will be felt. Now, there’s only 8 weeks left to sew your disturbingly elaborate adult Halloween costumes. Get on that shit.

Here’s Alexis Bledel in Mad Men. She played a crazy bored housewife who if the show were set in modern times would be signing lots of online petitions.