Teddy Bear Companies Want Miley Cyrus To Stop Humping Teddy Bears

The people who want to sell you Teddy Bear Picnic and Teddy Bears for Valentine’s Day and Teddy Bears for your cute little daughters want Miley Cyrus to stop using teddy bear costumes and imagery in her raunchy music videos and stage performances. They also want nobody anywhere ever to acknowledge the fact that many young girls discover their sexuality with Mr. Higglesworth getting frisky in the dark. Plus, good luck with making Miley Cyrus stop anything. Don’t you listen to her music? She can’t stop. She won’t stop. She owns herself and some other shit I can’t remember from her song. Besides, her teddy bear pornographification isn’t even close yet to what Colombian model Natalia Paris does with hers in videos…

In case you can’t get enough Miley up close and personal, we had a fan send in cell phone pictures right from the front lines of Miley’s VMA performance. Kasey was so close, the intoxicating scent of vinyl and Cyrus labial conditioner was inescapable. Now that sounds fucking glorious.