Prince Andrew & Fergie Might Get Remarried & The World Gave Narry A Fuck

The Limey rumor mill is churning out reports that Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson may get remarried. Apparently, her giant horse face has been spending a lot of time with prince jowls and staying over at the family castles. The two divorced in the 90’s after Fergie, (the English ginger not the Black Eyed Peas singer that pees her pants), repeatedly made an ass out of herself in front of the press. Family and friends, (so, other inbred royals), say it’s “only a matter of time” before the two reunite in matrimony and boring English White people sex. These sources also claim that they have to wait until his dad Prince Philip dies, which should happen any day now since he’s older than Tutankhamen’s cock. But the real question is: Who gives a shit?

Why does the world care what these fucking people do? Just because generations of rich assholes fucked their cousins to produce you doesn’t make you special. That’s true of half the people in Appalachia and no one talks about their relationship woes. At least Will and Kate are young and glamorous. Fergie looks like the busted ginger algebra teacher you had in the 6th grade. If they do get remarried I wonder how much money the English taxpayer is going to have to fork over for the wedding and the poll that will show 89% of them think it’s the best thing ever.