Prince George’s Nursery Will Be Africa Themed

The nursery of the future king of England will have an Africa theme, because of course. You know Africa, that continent his family brutally subjugated up until a few decades ago. Apparently his dad, prince receding hairline, just loooooves Africa. It’s so, like, quaint and stuff with their crushing poverty and AIDS epidemic. Poverty, btw, that is largely a legacy of his family raping the continent so they could get diamonds for their shiny hats. Prince William said of the nursery theme,

“We’ll cover it in, you know, lots of bushes And things like that. (We’ll) make him grow up as if he’s in the bush.”

Go fuck yourself, you Limey prick. That kid is going to grow up in palaces as the future king of England. How the fuck is he going to grow up as if he is growing up as a subsistence farmer and hunter like the poor people of Africa? I know your mom used to go on poverty tours pretending she gave a shit about poor Africans, but we all know it was for show and to experience an occasional shtup from a cock that didn’t need apologizing for. Just be honest and make the theme of the nursery — you’re rich for no particular reason. That way your son can grow up with the same generalized sense of guilt that leads to hosting fundraisers for Africa in the backyard of one of the estates he already owns at six weeks old.