Oprah Lied, Switzerland Died

I wouldn’t fuck with Oprah. She’s big and rich and vindictive. But, somebody has got to speak truth to fat power and that somebody is the anonymous store clerk from the Swiss store where Oprah claims she was the victim of vile designer handbag racism.

‘I wasn’t sure what I should present to her when she came in on the afternoon of Saturday July 20 so I showed her some bags from the Jennifer Aniston collection. It is absolutely not true that I declined to show her the [expensive] bag on racist grounds. I even asked her if she wanted to look at the bag.’

So, sort of the opposite of what crying Oprah said. Not that there’s any proof. But now that Switzerland has apologized, from the store owner on up to the Burgermeister Meisterburger, and Oprah apologized back to all of Switzerland from atop her floating island lair, can’t we all just agree that the real villain here is Jennifer Aniston. Does she really need to be hocking purses? Friends money running dry? Jennifer Aniston ruins everything.