Snooki Gives Baby Advice To Kate Middleton

Snooki had a bunch of unsolicited baby advice for Kate Middleton because she thinks she’s a fucking expert now. Ever since Snooki shot a womb ferret out of the herp infested maw she has been spouting off parenting tips like she’s a guido version of What To Expect When You Are Expecting. She offered Kim Kardashian pearls of wisdom like, “Remember to keep an extra pair of eyelashes in your purse just in case your water breaks when you’re not at home.” To the future queen of England she had this to say in her open letter:

“The lack of sleep you will get used to—just do your makeup, put a tiara on, and you’ll look beautiful as usual. Be sure to sing to your baby a lot, too! When I sing to my booger, he calms down.”

Perhaps she doesn’t realize who she is talking to but Kate Middleton isn’t getting up in the middle of the night to do shit. They have a retinue of serfs or whatever to do everything but wipe their ass for them. But that singing note is a good one. Babies do tend to get calm around the raspy smoker voices of their talentless midget mothers. That happens to be science.