Paula Deen Hires Famous Crisis Counselor

Facing the loss of millions of dollars in business deals, troubled celebrity chef Paula Deen has hired Judy Smith, crisis counselor to the very troubled rich and famous, to help stop her free fall. Judy is known for her thoughtful advice to troubled clients and is likely to give Paula such helpful tips as stop calling black people by the N-word, rebrand her famous plantation parties as ‘Old Fashioned Nights’, and remove the Jiggaboo Chicken Salad from the menu at all her restaurants. Fixing things won’t be easy for Paula. But sometimes you’ve got to look at yourself in the mirror and say, I’m simply going to start hiding shit a lot better from now on.