Kanye And Kim Named Baby North West

North West. That’s what Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have named their bastard daughter. There had been rumors since March that they would name the baby North, but Kim denied it. You know, because it’s fucking stupid. But I guess she gave in to the pressure exerted by Kanye West’s ego to make a geographical direction about him. I bet he thought he was real fucking clever when he came up with it too. “Yo, Kim. You know how, like, my name is West? And how, like, there is a south and northwest? Yo, I’m’a ’bout to blow yo mind: we call the baby North West! I am such a fuckin’ genius, bitch!”

No. No, you’re not. You are a douche. Celebrities love to give their kids stupid names not imagining what kind of impact it will have. I can just imagine what the name North will one day evoke. Waiters and household staff will be tormented by this child and they will curse the name of North. Her and Blue Ivy Carter will blow into Bergdorfs and the employees will say, “Fuck! It’s that North bitch and her friend Blue.” Your GPS will say things like, “Head North, like Kimye’s bitch daughter, and turn left at…”.

You might be saying, “But she’s a baby, how can you call her a bitch?” She is Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s baby. It is genetically impossible for her to be anything less than the worst person on Earth. Let’s skip the pleasantries.