Space Monkey

It came. It went.

What could have been the first crime in space turns out to be nothing but another lady lying to the cops to get even with an ex. So rare to hear a story end up like that. Color me shocked. According to The New York Times Summer Worden gave authorities false information about her ex-wife/NASA astronaut Anne McClain using the international space station to access her bank account. The two have been going thru a rough divorce and custody battle. So bad that one of then went to space to get away from the other. Fortunately the allegations were untrue, which means Space Force doesn’t get to put anyone in Space Jail (stand down boys), McClain however, is facing up to five years for giving false info to the federal government…so she’s an idiot.

I guess this is good news. We don’t want Space Crime to start being a thing. First it’s Space robbery, then it’s Space murder, then worst of all: Space Rape, which if you’re not careful could lead to a pandemic of Space AIDS.

I wrote this entire thing just so I could say Space AIDS.

For the Greater Good,
Tyler Durden