Now You: New Year’s Resolution

New Year’s resolutions are generally reserved for people who have fallen through the cracks of society, which is why this seemed like the perfect place to discuss them. We can make positive changes in our lives at any given moment in time. But we procrastinate by labeling the changes as “New Year’s resolutions,” waiting to implement them on January 1st, and then actually not doing anything.

Anyway, we should respect people who actually better themselves – whether via New Year’s resolutions or not – and below you guys should share what your ideal 2019 self will look like. It can be simple. For example I would like to improve my posture in 2019. At the rate my slouching is going I’m going to look like a popcorn shrimp when I’m fifty. I’d also like to not drink suspiciously similarly to how alcoholics drink. And I want to take over the world. Fuck everyone. And happy New Year.

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