Macaulay Culkin Defends 22 Year Age Gap Love With Michael Jackson

Have any of you seen the Dark British Web series on Netflix called Age Gap Love? It’s about old people fucking young people. Uh oh. Macaulay Culkin is standing right behind me isn’t he. Yikes. Like Culkin after spending the night at Neverland Ranch, boy do I have egg on my face.

Anydamnway, everyone’s favorite dead-eyed former child actor is once again defending (on a podcast called Inside of You. You just can’t make this shit up) his friendship with Michael Jackson. It blossomed when Culkin was ten-years-old and Jackson was thirty-two, and if that makes you barf up your biscuits, then you need to check your bias at the door or whatever. That’s ageism you sick fuck:

He reached out to me because a lot of things were happening big and fast with me. And I think…yes, I think he identified with that. I mean, at the end of the day, it’s almost easy to try say it was ‘weird’ or whatever, but it wasn’t, because it made sense. Like, we were legitimate…At the end of the day, we were friends—in the most simple [way]. It’s one of my friendships that people question, only because of the fact that he was the most famous person in the world.

To be completely honest, Culkin – an uber-famous ten-year-old grappling with adult issues thrust on him via his famewhore parents – wanting an adult confidant makes complete sense. When you’ve been on this planet for ten years and are already subjected to the media exposure that’s torn apart people five times your age, what advice or comfort could another ten-year-old offer you?

However, a thirty-two-year-old seeking friendship with a ten-year-old is a different story. What we call a red flag. Here’s Culkin elaborating on his captor:

He was fucking awesome. He was hilarious. He was sweet. People don’t know how funny he fucking was!

Culkin made it out of 90’s childhood stardom alive, which is sadly more than we can say for more than a couple of his brethren. And he might have made it out unraped. But he most likely didn’t make it out without becoming a permanent deposit in a pedophile’s spank bank. Chamonah?

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