LISTEN: Trump’s Friend Of 30-Years Tom Arnold Jokes That Trump Raped Ivana, Ivanka, And Tiffany

Our fun fact of the day is that Tom Arnold is not dead. I honestly could have sworn. While he somehow made it out of Roseanne Barrf’s clutches alive, he did not make it out… sane. Arnold is pimping his show on Vice called “Tom Arnold: Alive?” and while yucking it up and/or having a manic depressive meltdown on some podcast called Dumb Gay Politics, jokes that Donald Trump went into a blind rage following a painful scalp-reduction surgery and raped Ivana (something that was detailed in Ivana’s book, but then redacted because girl needs that money ALLEGEDLY), Ivanka, and Tiffany.

Those last two are, in case you’re not familiar with the royal family tree, his daughters. Arnold seems more serious about the Ivana accusation than the other two, but he isn’t interested in clearing up any of the info flying around this blessed shit show of an interview, and basically his DGAF-ery is goals. I stan. Hard. I Standra Day O’Connor. If I had known all along that I could say anything I wanted without repercussion, this blog would have been even more full of shit over the past year. Sigh, hindsight.

Arnold states that he’s been friends with Trump for thirty-years, and it sounds like over the course of their relationship, Arnold was privileged to plenty of juicy gross festering deets about Trump. However, the fact that those deets are stored in the mind of someone who demonstrates all the coherency of Woody Woodpecker on angel dust is a bummer. If you want to picture Trump – bleeding out of his botched freshly reduced head – raping his family, you can start at around the 16:10 minute mark in the embed at the top of the page. I can’t tell if I want everyone to be like Tom Arnold, or if I want no Tom Arnold at all in any capacity. Past, present, or future. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

I had so much fun with these two @MrJulieGoldman @TheBrandyHoward but the name of the show confused me of course. Neither seemed dumb & I thought both of them were gay until after the interview ended #dumbgaypolitics https://t.co/m1RbHNROSC pic.twitter.com/AXsu4PvzID

— Tom Arnold (@TomArnold) January 15, 2019

Photo Credit: Getty Images