Gwyneth Paltrow Foursome In Foreign Land

I feel like there’s more than a few men enjoying an interactive adventure with Gwyneth Paltrow’s bandersnatch. Gwyn is probably scared of being swinger-shamed. That’s why she’s keeping these exotic orgies in far away lands a secret. Brad Falchuk has the wide smile of a man who likes to watch his wife get banged by another man that she only claims to love like a brother. No worries, as long as he has front row seats to the show and a “friends and family members with benefits” 40 percent off discount on all Goop accessories, including seasonal items. What Paltrow is calling “conscious uncoupling” sounds more like the script to an almost incest stepfamily porno.

Page Six is told that exes Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were spotted heading to the Maldives before the holidays with their respective new partners, Brad Falchuk and Dakota Johnson.

We’re told that the big happy family were spotted arriving on the glamorous islands just before Christmas, and are believed to be spending New Year’s there as well.

With all of the substitute lovers Gwyn has, she’s proving to be more pathetic than the women on the 90 Day Fiancé show. But she’s not the only one to blame here. There are three other people involved that are completely on-board for her nonsense. Well, after naming their kids Apple and Moses, it’s apparent Chris Martin has always been on-board for Gwyn’s nonsense. If Brad and Dakota Johnson know what’s good for them, they’ll get out like their current life was a horror movie directed by Jordan Peele.

Photo Credit: MEGA / Getty Images