Do You Have A Moment To Talk About Our Lord And Savior, Bill Cosby?

Cosby is slightly over what I assume is the average life expectancy, so it’s only fair to assume that he’s lost his mind a long time ago.   Bill believes he’s the jailhouse Jesus. And the women that he baptized in a river of unborn children were actually saved by him. I don’t think Cosby is exactly who came to mind when Joan Osborne questioned “What if God was one of us?” In addition to believing he’s one third of the Holy Trinity, he also believes that he’s possessed, highly intelligent, and the prison guards are out to get him using an all-seeing eye in his cell. It’s a little late to attend the insanity plea party as he’s already been sentenced. But maybe his efforts will land him in the loopy house if he gets lucky. I heard the pudding is unlimited in those places.

In a new phone call, Cosby sounds like he has totally lost his mind. The disgraced former comedian is now known as Inmate No. NN7687. In a phone call that RadarOnline obtained, Cosby says some truly outlandish things.

“They’re using sonic pressure on my head!” he exclaims. He also claims that he is being possessed by the ghost of his deceased mother. Cosby believes that officials at Pennsylvania’s SCI Phoenix state prison are plotting against him or have it out for him.”I think they have some kind of eye in the cell,” Cosby claims. “Every time I start writing it goes up higher to see it.” “I think the mirror is rigged,” he then announces. “There is a huge satellite on the compound.” Cosby theorizes: “Their plan is to make me look totally crazy, so nobody believes anything I am saying!”

That sounds more than a little nuts.

He also claims that he “saved” the women whom he is accused of having heinously assaulted.

“I have empathy for those women!” Cosby insists. “I have understanding for the women.” “I saw what they were struggling through,” he continues. “Did I put those women in a garbage can?” Cosby asks. “Your society put them in the garbage!” According to RadarOnline, Cosby says: “I picked them out of the garbage and helped them!”

Then Cosby discusses his smarts.

He insists that he knows “more about the economy, more about money, more about the government than all the presidents combined.”

Maybe he was feeling in a Christmas spirit, because he mentions Jesus. Unfortunately, it was to compare himself to Jesus. “You don’t take human life like this, and sabotage it, and rip it apart like Jesus Christ!” Cosby reportedly exclaims. He then says: “Now I know what Jesus was going through!”

I’d have a hard time mustering up the courage to dig my cell phone out of the dumpster if I ever accidentally threw it in there. But I guess one society’s trash is Cosby’s next potential pill victim. That almost has a ring to it. But as far the “being intelligent” part of his rant, I’m going to need to see his BuzzFeed quiz scores before I can agree with that. He wasn’t exactly smart enough to avoid prison after all.

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