William Shatner Defends Christmas Jingle

I never knew my biological urge to procreate was so… problematic. Ever since the dawn of civilized society, owning a penis meant having patience, getting loads of practice, and being persistent if you wanted to get laid. You just can’t go knocking women out with clubs and drag them back to the cave anymore. Fast forward to 2018, the year of outrage and feelings, and we have celebrities like William Shatner picking the wrong side of the fence to be on with the “Baby It’s Cold Outside” song.

Former “Star Trek” actor William Shatner has taken a hard stance on the ongoing controversy surrounding the Christmas song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” to both the joy and dismay of his fans.

As previously reported, the song has been removed by some radio stations over claims that the song deals with a woman saying “no” to a man’s advances and him persisting. The 87-year-old actor took to Twitter on Tuesday to urge fans to call into CBC radio after it announced that it would remove the holiday song from the airwaves to demand they play it.

“Call in to CBC radio all day and get them to play ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ over and over until midnight!” Shatner wrote.

I personally feel there are bigger issues for feminism to be concerned about, but what do I know, I’m just another disgusting man who would also offer an attractive woman warm cocoa and a place to stay if the temperature were below 32 degrees. What do women want? Because brevity doesn’t work. It may be empirical data but sending a dick pic with the words “you down?” has a success rate of approximately zero percent. And apparently, a classic Christmas duet from 1944 honoring a horny man’s persistence in possibly scoring a home run courtesy of the winter solstice is also a tad too offensive. If this musical purge trend continues, we may be looking at timeless passionate heterosexual ditties about the adoration of women’s underwear like Sisqo’s Thong Song being erased from history as well.