Whoopi Wanted To Make Whoopee With Underaged NPH

I hope the imagery of Whoopi Goldberg making love to Neil Patrick Harris makes you slightly more disgusted with the backdoor deals going on in Hollywood. As far as the public knows, the merger of their genitals fell apart before actual materialization. Which is great news because I’m not expert in witchcraft or divination, but I’m 99% certain mixing Whoopi’s pubes with NPH’s bodily fluids is the quickest way to summon the Anti-Christ and initiate the apocalypse.

On The View, NPH said that when he was 15 and working on his first movie Clara’s Heart, opposite Whoopi, she offered to be his sexual guru in 10 years time. NPH said (via Page Six):

“She told me, I was 15, 16 years old, she told me on my last day of shooting that in 10 years’ time she was going to have sex with me,” he said.

Whoopi admitted it sounded like something she would say, and that in those days “you could have some fun like that”. Things then got real creepy when NPH rubbed his hands together and said he was “looking forward to it.”

Maybe Whoopi’s proposition was the catalyst that caused him to play for the other team. When you’re 15 and the women you have to look forward to in the future look like men anyway, why not just cut to the chase. It’s arguable that Goldberg caused enough trauma that it altered Neil’s sexual orientation. I don’t know if Goldberg is gay, but her appearance does suggest that she dabbles in dyke activity by default due to her looks. Her mentioning that she wanted a piece of 15-year-old Harris is something I wish she took with her to the grave. I know it’s close to Halloween but a horror story like that is something more sinister than Stephen King could ever come up with or H.R. Giger ever had nightmarish visions about.

Photo Credit: Getty Images