Breaking: Chrissy Teigen Says She Is Easy

On the most recent episode of Watch What Happens Live, Chrissy Teigen reveals that she’s just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to fuck her. Teigen really rocked Hollywood by admitting that she’s whorey, stating that she banged John Legend on the same day that she met him. The fact that more than fifteen minutes passed between when she met a man and when she fucked him means that she’s more reserved than I previously thought:

I closed the deal the first [night]. It’s fine! We were on a music video set all day together, and then I went to one of his shows, and then … yeah.

Barf. Women as attention-starved as Teigen need penises inside their holes in order to feel complete. But even after receiving hundreds of penises throughout her illustrious penis career, Teigen still feels so empty that she’s willing to sic a deadly hornet on her daughter for attention. And willing to divulge her personal sex life to a Desperate Housewife and gay supervillain. The woman obviously needs more penises stat. Anyone up for it?

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