Tara Reid Ready To Return To A-List Life

If you haven’t heard already, Sharknado 6 will be the last Sharknado. The good news is there will be one less mind-numbing meaningless show to accidentally run into while channel surfing. The other good news is that Tara Reid will be permanently out of a job and out of sight. But the bad news is that she’s desperately pushing for American Pie 5 to happen. She’ll need something to occupy her time now that she’s not dodging tornados full of Great Whites. The projects that Tara has attached her name to after her cult classic hits are laughable to say the least. The world needs another American Pie the same way it needs a sequel to Titanic, it doesn’t. That ship has sailed and sunk.

“There’s a lot of talk right now, which is just talk, I can’t say it’s true, but there’s a lot of buzz on American Pie 5…” Tara hinted in the HollywoodLife podcast while promoting the final Sharknado film. “They are my favorite movies! I would be so into it! I’d love it!”

If you needed another reason to protest a Tara’s return to the big screen, look no further than her latest interview. After slurring like a stroke survivor, I’m convinced that she’s being kept alive on the minimal nutrients her body absorbs from meth, Marlboro Reds, and Jack Daniels. I’d take Tara more serious if whoever was responsible for her well-being remembered to feed her. She has this starving third-world child/trailer park hooker aesthetic going on that makes it extremely difficult to care about anything she says. Which is exactly how she ended up getting stuck doing roles in movies that would never make it to any theater. Everyone’s level of care for whatever project Tara is working on lately is at a double zero like her pant’s size. We would all care less if we could.

Photo Credit: Getty Images / MEGA