Matt Lauer Scheming To Return To TV

I thought I would be welcomed back with open arms the following week after being told to take a few mandatory days off from a prestigious cashier position as a teenager. I was not. It’s like you compliment one customer’s cleavage and the company treats you like it’s inappropriate to make friendly conversation where the focus is praising how well endowed one woman’s chest is. Nonetheless, I had to find employment elsewhere, even though I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. And it looks like Matt Lauer is in the same boat. He believes enough time has passed to attempt a return to television. He’s either delusional or his excessive financial habits are finally catching up to him. You can’t lose your TV gig after being labeled a MeToo man and still believe you can frequent Starbucks thrice a day while wearing bespoke Brooks Brothers suits. It’s gas station hot pot coffee and Men’s warehouse for him if he wants to avoid living under a cardboard roof in the near future. He’s without work and a woman. And with a pending divorce the only sucking dry his wife will be interested in now deals with bank accounts, not the bedroom.

Matt Lauer reportedly thinks enough time has gone by for no one to care any longer that he’s an (alleged) rapist and (alleged) serial sexual harasser. The disgraced former Today Show host is (allegedly) plotting his return to television.

“Matt and his people think if enough time passes, he will be forgiven,” a source says, adding:

“He believes the only thing he’s guilty of was engaging in a consensual affair in the office. His view is that he was unfairly caught up in the rash of #MeToo abusers and did nothing that merited getting fired.”

Alleged affairs, sex toy gifts for his interns, and rape, oh my. Matt could have maybe made his way back on television if he was accused of only one out of three of the offenses but it looks like he’s got a trifecta going on. We all know sex toys as gifts to the hot impressionable intern is a gateway to an affair and eventual rape allegation when she doesn’t get the promotion you promised.

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