Jennifer Aniston Seeking Double Team Dating Fun After Justin

There’s nothing more saddening than the woman you’ve previously professed a love for turning into a full blown slut right after she dates you. It probably would have been a bit better if she told you that she was inspired to become a lesbian after you. At least that way you don’t have to picture pounds of stray sausage on her face after you bought her thoughtful gifts on her birthday. Somewhere in the humble confines of another man’s apartment, Jennifer Aniston is slipping off that bohemian watercolor maxi dress from Anthropologie Justin Theroux purchased for her in a bid to save their relationship. Jen isn’t just doing that for one man but two, a “tech” and a “creative.”

At 49 years old with a career that isn’t slowing down anytime soon, why take yourself off the market?

An insider source told Us Weekly that Jennifer is staying low key and dating outside of her A-list Hollywood circle — with two suitors.

Neither is an actor. The first bachelor — a tech titan — was actually introduced to the Friends alum by a friend:

“It’s very hush-hush. He recently split from his wife and is trying to win over Jen.”

Another source shared more details about the second mystery suitor:

“[He’s] an industry creative she met when they started working on a project together several months ago. Jen’s group is excited that she’s dating again. They can hardly keep it a secret when they’re so happy to see Jen moving on.”

Elderly dating is peculiar by nature. Most people in their twenties come with baggage and at least one kid. When you’re a year away from 50 you’ve racked up a high score of multiple children, multiple heartbreaks, at least one divorce, a shingles scare, and it takes longer to heat up a Hot Pocket than you can last in bed with any lover. But her ovaries aren’t getting any younger, so if she wants to invite herself to a sausage party every night, it’s her prerogative.

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