A Very Reckless Dick Booked For Sexual Battery

It’s fascinating that Andy Dick has dodged the Reaper for this long. You can tell that he’s overdue and disappeared from the line when his number was called. While he’s managed to avoid actual death, his career can’t say the same. When you’re treated like the average rabid rap groupie by security in a crowd of Post Malone fans it’s time to call it quits on everything. But the Dick is not one to throw in the towel when there is more opportunity for embarrassment left on the table. Andy went for his second serving got himself a handful of stray cheek from a stranger. The woman filed a police report which resulted in Andy winning two misdemeanor awards, one for sexual battery, and one for simple battery.

Law enforcement sources tell us a woman filed a police report claiming the troubled comedian squeezed her butt twice as he walked past her on a sidewalk back in April. She also said he made lewd comments.

According to docs, obtained by TMZ, the L.A. City Attorney slapped Dick with misdemeanor sexual battery, as well as misdemeanor simple battery … for allegedly touching the woman.

As we reported, Andy’s wife claims he’s been spiraling back into booze. He also threatened to lick and grope one of our photogs, and threatened suicide.

Andy’s wife is blaming it on the booze. But if anyone is to blame here it’s her for not keeping him on a leash and the bottle out of reach. Dick is terrorizing the entire town while his wife truly believes she can wash her hands of all responsibility. You can’t just expose your Dick in public and think there aren’t going to be any repercussions. She needs to put that thing away so the rest of us can enjoy the evening without worrying about unexpectedly running into a wild untamed Dick.

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