Two Men Taken To The Bank Over Child Support

I’ve heard the expression “never have sex with someone you don’t plan on ever being a parent with.” Which is sobering advice until you try to remember that same advice when you’re plastered at the ass end of a Saturday and accidentally get the below average looking woman at the bar pregnant. Pushing that same woman who refuses to get an abortion down a full flight of stairs is unethical and unreasonable. But for some reason a man paying that same woman $50,000 a month in child support is not. Jesse Williams has recently been ordered to pay a total of 100K per month to his ex-wife. Half going to support the child, the other half going to support her. I’d want to commit suicide paying that much to a woman who looks like Eric Andre on her best day. He could be saving at least 50 grand if he wore a condom. They protect men from STDs and unwanted child support payments for when a woman inevitably becomes a dead fish in bed who demands a ridiculous amount of money for what I can only imagine to be diamond encrusted diapers.

 Jesse Williams has been ordered to pay more than $50,000 a month in child support. Williams, who is already paying his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee $50,695 per month in spousal support, had asked the court to reduce the money he contributes towards the care of their children, Maceo, who is almost 3, and Sadie Williams, 4.

On the other end of the child support payment spectrum sits Darius McCrary. Better known as Eddie Winslow from Family Matters. He doesn’t have the same problems as Jesse because he had the combination of an excellent lawyer and an extremely low monthly income.

The man who once played the lovable Eddie Winslow most recently appeared on seven episodes of Lee Daniels’ TV show, “Star,” but apparently has not worked since. He previously told the court that he was having a hard time finding work and wasn’t even able to afford the required visitation monitor to see his child. Brawner and McCrary have previously filed restraining orders against each other in what has turned out to be a volatile breakup. Darius McCrary’s required $29 per month payment is based off his reported income of $462 per month.  The county noted it applied a “low-income adjustment” to cut him a break.

There’s no way an American adult can live off of $462 a month. I have no doubt that he Houdini’d his other income by being paid under-the-table. While $50,000 is excessive to pay a month in child support, $29 a month is pure lunacy. There are 31 days in the month of May alone. Even if the child was fed one meal slightly under a dollar per day there are two days that his kid will probably go to sleep eating an imagination sandwich and washing it down with a cup of hunger tears.

Photo Credit, Jesse Williams’ and ex Aryn Drake via Splash News, Darius McCrary’s ex Tammy Brawner via Instagram