Teresa Guidice Has The Juice

Teresa Giudice puts the “G” in GTL. “GTL” of course being Italian for gym, tan, laundry. The term hails from the only other Italy, located along the shores of New Jersey. It may be no Venice, but there’s plenty of water and women with some nice spicy meatballs. And just like any other strong independent woman with Italian and Garden State roots, Teresa avoids enlisting the help of any man. Probably because she looks like one but that’s beside the point. She’s now officially her own protection. After reality TV Teresa decided to transform herself into a beefcake Barbie. The orange abomination is labeling herself a bodybuilder. But she would be better off labeling herself as a blonde Hi-C colored She-Hulk who can scare any small child with a single stare.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey wreck and ex-convict Teresa Giudice is expanding her reality TV, cookbook, booze empire of popsicle sticks to include being the female Arnold Schwarzenegger and take part in a bodybuilding contest.

If Teresa turns you on you probably attended at least one Pride event this month. It’s time to tell your parents and friends. Honestly Teresa looks like she packs more testosterone than Jose Canseco could fit in a briefcase from his ‘roid dealer. She should have taken up baking, or tennis perhaps. Because there’s nothing but regret in-store for women with muscles, masculine labia, and an oversized clit that has the appearance of a micro penis thanks to all that juicing.

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