Sandra Bullock Loves Infant Penis On Her Face

As a man I don’t like to whine or complain but I feel an obligation to maybe point out some slight hypocrisy that I see going on. Ellen DeGeneres and Sandra Bullock sat down to have a prime time chat about “penis facials.” I know your first thought must be what exactly does a high profile lesbian know about penis facials when she’s into scissoring and squirting but what was discussed between the two is far more deviant than that of your favorite porn category. Sandra told Ellen she injects her face with the foreskin of Korean babies. Why? Because Bullock doesn’t mind taking baby dicks to the face without shame in the name of beauty. She’s now added herself to the list of individuals that can enjoy an infant’s foreskin on their face with impunity. Before you had to go through rigorous rabbi training, Sandra Bullock took a shortcut.

Sandra Bullock has a passion for “penis facials.” The Ocean’s 8 star appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and dished about her favorite beauty regimen.

“Well it’s this way in which one forces, through microneedling, it’s like a little roller with these…it pushes through the skin and ruptures the collagen and then boosts it,” Bullock said. “You look like a burn victim for a day, but then it pushes the serum in.”

When asked what she’s pushing into her skin, Bullock said it’s “whatever the facialist would like to insert into your pores.” “But what is it?” DeGeneres asked.

Bullock tried to explain, “It is an extraction from a…um…a piece of skin that came from a young person, far, far away, and they somehow figured out how to extract…” DeGeneres then told the audience, “It’s foreskin from a Korean baby. That’s what it is.”

The actress went on to share that it’s not like she’s “lying there with little pieces all over my face,” but it’s why she’s has named the process the “penis facial.” “When you see how good it is to your face, you too will run to your local facialist and say, ‘Give me the penis,'” Bullock laughed.

Imagine the outrage if a man stated he was also into smearing some of the last smegma a child will ever experience all over his face like Bullock. Sandra is definitely a freak without a filter. It won’t be long before she starts buying Asian orphans on the black market to eat them in order to stay young. Sandra probably got the bright idea from 2004’s Dumpling movie since she’s a desperate aging woman who will obviously do anything to avoid her inevitable divorce.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News