Jimmy Kimmel Cleaning Out His Cornhole

For those that say Jimmy Kimmel is full of shit he’s cleaning out his colon just for you. Will he be a better man after a cavity search he consented to? It’s up for argument. He has Katie Couric by his side to hold his hand as he bravely prepares himself to insert a camera into his ass to check for colorectal cancer. Jimmy is a blessed man because this is clearly a first-world problem. The worst part about this entire situation is some slight embarrassment and a few butt jokes from close friends. There’s probably some small Filipino boy with a rectum full of mutated cells from eating pagpag dumpster dinner. Too bad the kid won’t be able to check his fudge tunnel for abnormalities due to the lack of his family’s income. His best bet now is just hoping Angelina Jolie adopts him, she has more than enough money and medical insurance for his holes to receive the same level of care as Kimmel’s holes.

Since hitting the half-century mark this past fall, Jimmy Kimmel is taking doctor’s recommendations and getting a colonoscopy. Kimmel, who turned 50 in November  — the age that the American Cancer Society recommends men and women begin getting tested for colorectal cancer — prepares for a colonoscopy with Katie Couric.

Kimmel chose Couric as his colon coach because her husband Jay Monahan died from colon cancer 20 years ago. Which practically confirms that her husband was devout heterosexual until the end. Because any man married to a woman overly concerned with the upkeep of his asshole should raise a red flag. It’s unfortunate that a man can’t just “walk off” colon cancer when it starts to hurt.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News / Splash News