Chelsea Handler Wants To Reduce Mammoth Sized Mammaries

Chelsea Handler is reducing the best place on her body for a man to place his hands. Which is surprising because as much as she gets around, the generous size of her deployed air bags made succeeding in her one night stand goals less of a hassle. Life isn’t easy for every woman who wants to experience the purple eggplant emoji of almost every man she meets. She may deny that she’s easy if she wants but rapper 50 Cent was posting topless photos of her in the snow only two years ago when she was 41. Chelsea’s going to be kinky until her teeth fall out. And even when they do, there’s still no guarantee she won’t stop offering her grandma’s cookie to all the boys.

On her Instagram Stories, the comedian posted a video of herself wearing a black, gray and pink bikini top and black bottoms, as she declared her issues with her swimsuit.

“I just want everyone to know, that this is my situation when I try to get into a bathing suit,” Handler says in the video. “My boobs don’t fit into anything. So, the uh, breast reduction conversation is officially on the table.”

I always find it weird when a woman wants to reduce the size of her breast. It’s not like most women developed amazing personalities to attract a male protector and provider throughout evolution. Boobs have always been the ace up every women’s sleeve when men claim they’re uninteresting. And the bigger the better. Maybe Handler can work on actually being funny now that most men won’t partake in the obligatory double take over her double Ds that she’s grown accustomed to.

See Chelsea Hander’s Cans Here 

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News / Splash News / Snapchat / Instagram