Katy Perry, Quite Contrary

Katy Perry is once again shooting herself in her woke foot, challenging her own brand of enlightenment with motivational one-liners not unfit for a Cialis ad in her new interview with Glamour Magazine. We all bared Witness to Perry’s downfall following her lackluster rebirth as the world’s oldest art school student, and even at thirty-three-years-of age, she still seems to have as strong a grasp on contemporary issues as an eighteen-year-old ironically Carhartt-sporting self-assessed artist whose two biggest dilemmas are the current presidential administration and which funky statement glasses to wear to the party. Except in Perry’s case, which age-inappropriate eyeshadow to apply to compliment her three-years-too-late haircut.

The Perry of yesteryear – the one who so flippantly sang “Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction” in the song E.T. – paired raw sexuality with irreverent bubblegum pop for pure chart-topping escapism. But we rarely look to blockbuster hits to satiate our deeper side, and certainly no one was looking for the woman with Reddi-wip tits to guide them on a spiritual journey. Much has been said about Perry’s stalled reinvention, but nothing so succinct as what Perry herself had to say to Glamour:

A lot of my early twenties were really intense, really extreme, and somewhat unconscious. It was all career focused, which was great, but once you touch the ceiling so many times, it’s like, ‘Oh yeah, I did that. I touched the ceiling.’ Now I want to touch the stars, which has to do with the heart.

Is she straight up trolling us? I’ve been more moved by the inside of a Snapple cap. Perry on embracing being crappy:

I think it was the universe’s way of testing me, of saying, ‘We’re going to see if you do love yourself.’ That was challenging for me, because I didn’t realize how much I relied on the outside validation. I thought that I didn’t, but once you get kicked down the mountain a little bit, you realize that the weather really is better at the top.

And on how songs that she definitely wrote ::WINK:: are actually serious motivation pep talks to herself:

I would say that all of my best songs, or what I think are some of my better songs—‘By the Grace of God,’ ‘Roar,’ ‘Firework’—are basically motivational pep talks to myself. They’re my soul speaking to me, saying, ‘Come on. We can do this. One foot in front of the other.’

Spoiler alert Katy: They didn’t work.

Photo Credit: Glamour, YouTube