Kate Upton’s #MeToo Statement Keeps Us Guess-ing

First off, whenever I see one of these videos of the pap smears encircling celebrities like a strobing biblical plague I want for them all to personally experience about 3/4th of the outcomes of Black Mirror episodes, before I suddenly remember that the celebrities get paid millions of dollars in return for being inconvenienced for five minutes. Then I realize I hate everyone involved equally. Anyway, tit rack Kate Upton just recently stepped into the #MeThree! spotlight on social media by calling out Guess creative director Paul Marciano as a sexual predator. Her tweet reads:

It’s disappointing that such an iconic women’s brand @GUESS is still empowering Paul Marciano as their creative director #metoo

Upton then follows this up with the Instagram comment:

He shouldn’t be allowed to use his power in the industry to sexually and emotionally harass women #metoo

Everyone knows that Guess is the preferred brand of sassy 30-something dental receptions in Waco, TX who know that the only thing separating them and their dream of moving to the big city is a $30 pleather coat that barely covers their back boobs. If I were Kate I’d be too embarrassed to remind people that poorly photographed images of myself were plastered across mall storefronts, but she’s going in hard with her Marciano allegations, and while being mauled by the paps in the video below, suggests that a huge wave of fresh allegations from other models could be coming our way.

Upton won’t divulge if she’s speaking for a friend or if she’s the one who was personally attacked by Marciano, but if Marciano didn’t molest Upton he wouldn’t really be living up to the job description. Fashion execs’ predatory behavior towards models is so storied that Don Charney has practically made a name for himself because of it and Mike Jeffries’ social life would make Bryan Singer’s 90’s pool parties look like child’s play. Which, they were. Allegedly. People say that the difference between art and porn is the lighting. I say the difference between modeling and Girls Gone Wild is the ability to keep silent.

He shouldn’t be allowed to use his power in the industry to sexually and emotionally harass women #metoo

A post shared by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on Jan 31, 2018 at 2:15pm PST

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated / Getty Images / Splash News