Jennifer Aniston Photographed Suicidal Over Lack Of Penis

Well, it’s started. Jennifer Aniston might be an internationally famous multi-millionaire, but first and foremost she is a women, and according to TMZ she just can’t handle the fact that she doesn’t have a penis in her vagina. The miserable barren old bag of crap was photographed leaving Grauman’s Chinese Theater where she attended the premiere of Game Night, and she happened to not be smiling from ear to ear, so she received the headline “JENNIFER ANISTON LOOKS SO SAD …About Justin, or a Movie?” The TMZ journalist also points out that:

…’Game’ is an action comedy … so it seems unlikely that is the reason for her solemn face.

Wow. That sad old bitch. Aniston and her husband of two years Justin Theroux split up last week, and immediately Twitter twatters started speculating that Aniston was going to hop back on Brad Pitt’s D to fill the void. The penis void. She’s even dressed like an eggplant in the pics so she can pretend that she’s a penis while banging herself. Honestly Aniston is the most pathetic person I’ve ever seen, and if she doesn’t get with someone soon she should find an ice floe and float on off into the sunset so we don’t have to be bogged down by her crippling sadness.

Head HERE to see the pics

Photo Credit: Splash News / Pacific Coast News