Wahlberg-Williams Pay Gap Could End All Time and Space

The Kevin Spacey man-man rape situations caused a whole series of ripples in Hollywood still now circulating to the shores as overblown imaginary tsunamis.

With the re-shoots required on All The Money in the World such that Christopher Plummer could replace everybody’s favorite TV President and off-camera dick groper, producers were forced to sign up actors in the re-shot scenes to emergency short term deals. Producers first went to Michelle Williams, explained the dire situation, and promptly ripped her off. They gave her a thousand bucks per diem for two weeks of new scenes for the film. They next went to Mark Wahlberg who demanded something much larger, and settled on 1.5 million.

News of this disparity flipped through the Time’s Up universe faster than a handbag sales at Chanel. Or a close approximation. Shopping is the religion, gender equality merely the hobby. Michelle Williams immediately explained the pain and suffering she’s endured since realizing she was taken. Akin to how a lady might feel at the local auto garage after paying $400 for an air filter replacement on an air filter that didn’t need replacing:

“I adore (Ridley Scott), worship him, would do anything for him. I hated that this man’s time and expertise and gentlemanly-ness was going to be kind of for naught. So when I got the phone call about the change of plans I was thrilled. I was enlivened, it picked me up off the couch a little bit and got me excited. I said I’d be wherever they needed me, whenever they needed me. And they could have my salary, they could have my holiday, whatever they wanted. Because I appreciated so much that they were making this massive effort.”

Director Ridley Scott and others involved at the top forwent any salary as well and noted such in stories about the re-shoot. Giving it that whole, kids-put-on-a-play-to-save-the-rec-center kind of positive vibe. Nobody mentioned that Wahlberg stood firm on the fat check.

Jessica Chastain immediately did the math wrong and noted her outrage at Michelle Williams being paid, “1% of her male co-star”. Which ignores the total salary picture for the film, albeit Wahlberg commands huge fees for his movie appearances. Inexplicable, but that’s the way of the world. He’s the highest paid actor in Hollywood. His movies make bank. Michelle Williams movies, not so much.

Judd Apatow promptly apologized for being a man and people questioned whether Mark Wahlberg would help make this right. Because, obviously, it’s his fault for being shrewd and asking for what he’s worth in the marketplace. Or his agents are on his behalf. Interestingly enough, both he and Williams are repped by William Morris Endeavor (WME). So, in short, fire your agent. Wahlberg has a better one who understood that he could hold production hostage, and he did. Thank you very much, Kevin Spacey rape, for the new addition to my fifth home.

In summation, nice guys finish last. Nice girls even lower. Hire Ari Gold to be your rep and milk the studios and producers for all you can whenever you can. You’re not worth as much as Mark Wahlberg, Daniel Day Lewis isn’t worth ten percent of what Wahlberg is, but you can do better than a per diem on a film that’s worth tens of millions. Don’t be the wallflower who blames the lousy music for not dancing. Wahlberg will dance to anything, and topless by the way.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News