Bregoli Takes Down Paul, This Is the End of Times

The Fall of the Roman Empire took an excruciatingly long number of tiresome pages to explain. The fall of Western civilization can be more tersely attributed to an interview of Danielle Bregoli criticizing Logan Paul for his dead Japanese dude in forest giggle video. When an emancipated fourteen year old with fake tits and eyebrows, famous for girl fight videos, can reasonably take the high ground against anybody, it’s over.

Bregoli has become a go-to oracle for moral compass reports on the state of popular culture affairs. She rates Logan Paul’s fancy pants jaunt through Suicide Forest as a rotten tomato. This from a girl thrice arrested prior to even starting to skip eighth grade. She called Paul’s take on depression inclusive of hanging high Japanese guy to be “disgusting”.

It may be that Bregoli speaks to the current thinking on Paul, as voiced by young teens who travel alone with Starbucks frappuccino swirls through airports on their way to softcore porn music video shoots. Not an entirely small market. It’s hard to blame TMZ when their story sourcing with Bregoli equals or best most New York Times or CNN political policy long form breaking stories.

When the world ends, it won’t be fire and brimstone. It’ll be Cash Me Ousside girl in a tube top rendering judgement on the world from about four foot-eight. I hope it happens soon. I can’t take much more of this.