Lindsay Lohan Loves Gains

In the celebrity realm “not dating” translates to having intercourse at the very minimum. Lindsay Lohan’s most notable accomplishments after fame has been attempting to sell selfies, randomly converting to Islam, defending Harvey Weinstein, and now romantically involving herself with a wealthy Korean bodybuilder. Her foreign boy toy calls himself “Super Korean.” Probably because he’s built like the final villain Bison from Street Fighter with the arrogant attitude to match. Going sock-less with loafers in a three-piece suit never looked more silly until Je-Yong Ha decided to create an Instagram account. Why a deadlifting dandy would be interested in a mentally unstable fire crotched expat is beyond me. But apparently Lohan is another item of no substantial value that he wishes to add to his life. Bronze trophy girlfriend. 

The massive Korean bodybuilder, powerlifter and arm-wrestler Je-Yong Ha has a lot of nicknames. Some people call him the Korean Hulk (not to be confused with the Iranian Hulk), because each of his arms and legs are the size of Lou Ferrigno’s entire body.

Others apparently call him the Korean Dan Bilzerian because of his lavish lifestyle and fondness for showing it off Instagram. There’a shot of him blowing tons of money on Impressionist painting, several photos of him eating food covered in gold flakes and of course, tons of ultra-luxury vacation shots. 

Rumors linking the the Korean Hulk and the 31-year-old actress cropped up over the weekend but a “source close to Lohan” shot those down in a comment to Vanity Fair. “Lol they are 100% not dating at all. They’re just friends,” that person told VF.

Not sure what Lohan is waiting for. Je-Yong Ha is supposedly a billionaire, at least according to some extremely sketchy sources online. Even if that’s not true, the guy clearly lives a life that anyone would envy, especially a former child star who’s not working much these days. 

Lindsay is like that girl from town everyone had a turn with and now she believes moving will solve everything. So far it’s working. She really lucked up this time finding an unsuspecting meathead who happens to have a lot of money. But then a part of me suspects that this isn’t even a real relationship. Maybe this guy purchased Lindsay. She was already too willing to do anything for money. And now knowing what women in Hollywood were willing to do for a career a slightly used American celebrity for sale doesn’t sound too farfetched.  

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