Well Look What The Tide Dragged In

Yesterday Lady Gaga starred in her own Insta photo shoot looking like one of those washed up tangled masses of seaweed, garbage, and small animal carcasses. Or just like a whale caught up in fishing net. Or a D-list Times Square Princess Leia impersonator on a bender. Or like, you know, a fat ugly desperate former celebrity. However you slice it, Gaga is at the point in her life when bikini pics feel more defiant than celebratory. Squeezing her bubbling frame into a thong is more akin to Lena Dunham baring her double stuffed hair pie on Girls than a hot celebrity showing something we want to see. She’s a Real Housewife celebrating her fiftieth birthday in style.

Gaga is currently still playing out her Joanne era fantasy in front of audiences wondering how a horse was able to put on a pink cowboy hat. These pics were snapped in Miami during a stop on her Joanne World Tour, and while Miami is legitimately known for its hot people and beautiful beaches, these could have been snapped at a hooker convention on Myrtle Beach and I wouldn’t bat an eye. Ah yes our catch of the day is delusional skank bucket. 

^{Photo Credit: Instagram}