Rebel Wilson Asked to Butt Finger Unnamed Actor

The greatest content coming out of Hollywood are the actresses, and occasional Terry Crews, desperately trying to share their own tales of misogyny and woe. Bet Weinstein never realized his greatest work would be unleashing a thousand and one vagina monologues.

Rebel Wilson apologized for being late with her own contribution to the Stone Soup of Sexual Harassment, what with “creating new comedy overseas”. Then a drum roll for the big reveal…

“A male star, in a position of power asked me to go into a room with him and then asked me repeatedly to stick my finger up his ass. All whilst his male ‘friends’ tried to film the incident on their iPhones and laughed. I repeatedly said no and eventually got out of the room.”

The ultimate compliment for a woman. Dude wants you to finger his ass while he imagines his more attractive proctologist. No fetish crazed man ever asked you to sit on his face or slip into a cat costume to play Garfield Left Alone with All the Lasagna? Thanks for not naming names or redeeming this story in any manner.

Wilson must’ve realized how she came out looking from her first industry harassment story because she tossed out a followup:

“Earlier in my career, I also had a ‘hotel room’ encounter with a top director. I thought we were there to talk comedy. Nothing physical happened because the guy’s wife called and started abusing him over the phone for sleeping with actresses and luckily she was yelling so loud that I could hear her and I bolted out of there immediately.”

This reputation saving second story almost seemed believable until the part about Rebel Wilson “bolting” in any manner. Trudged, plodded, maybe on a good day, toddled. By way of a story note, maybe the director expressed his desire for your big and beautiful physique? Nobody seems to be having sex with you in your tales of sexual exploitation.

It’ll take some time for a proper hindsight on this entire period in Hollywood history. Trust that we’ve yet to fully jump the shark. Though we’ve clearly reached the anus of the whale.

_{Photo credit: Twitter / Backgrid USA / Pacific Coast News}