Peter Thiel Dancing on the Corpse of Gawker

In 2007, Gawker published a story outing Silicon Valley billionaire, Peter Thiel, as gay. Thiel stands out as one of the very rare openly right wing tech moguls. The gay part is way more common. No doubt politics and Thiel’s reputation for funding like-minded causes played into Gawker’s decision to out Thiel. Thiel took exception. Like any half-decent standout gay vigilante billionaire, Thiel spent the next several years plotting to destroy the media outlet.

Thiel’s opportunity for operation “Extinct The Living Shit Out of Gawker” came in the form of Hulk Hogan’s mega lawsuit against the media company for publishing his sex tape and refusing to remove the tape after legal requests. Thiel opened his checkbook and bankrolled the living shit out of broke-ass Hogan’s lawsuit, resulting in a $140 million civil verdict against Gawker, forcing the company to declare bankruptcy. 

Gawker sold of their satellite sites to Univision who are quietly buying up every online distressed media outlet they can find for the coming Hispanic revolution. Gawker.com and its immense story archive remained intact and for sale by bankruptcy custodians. In marketing the sale to potential buyers, the bankruptcy custodians have been bandying about the fact that the new owner may be able to sue Thiel for his questionable role in the Hogan legal funding. Thiel’s solution is to purchase the Gawker corpse itself and burn its existence from the annals of humanity. Literally, purge fourteen years of stories from the publication database and 404 error its memory. 

“By wrongly excluding Mr. Thiel, the most able and logical purchaser, from the sale process on specious grounds … the Plan Administrator will only depress the value to be achieved in any sale.”

So said the lawyers for the Thiel vengeance machine. People often compare Thiel to Trump, because they’re both Republican billionaires with hyper-aggressive business and legal proclivities. However, worth noting, Thiel is leagues more intelligent than Trump. He doesn’t wield the power of the Presidency, but an openly rogue billionaire is not something this nation has encountered before. Usually these guys merely want to own football teams, fund some charities, and bang foreign nationals. A guy with endless cash who doesn’t care for pussy or public approval is an altogether a new variable of villainy, even if you hate Gawker, which you should.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images}