Mariah Carey Hates Christmas

Mariah Carey is an entitled turd. When the world makes you the face of the top grossing pagan rooted holiday here in the states you’re supposed to say thank you. But Carey doesn’t want to be labeled “Queen Of Christmas” anymore. That’s kind of hard when every department store in America plays All I Want For Christmas every Christmas since the song has been released. It’s timeless and success is nothing to scoff at. But let’s be honest. For 12 months of every year you have rosy red cheeks and teeter on the borderline of being obese. You’ve literally been the physical manifestation of Kris Kringle every day for the last seven years and arguably more. Come collect your crown, smile at the small children and shut up. No need for that grinch behavior. 

Carey on Christmas:

So now they seem to call you “the Queen of Christmas.”

“They.” I don’t know who “they” are. That is not my appellation.

 

You’re not thrilled with that title.

It’s not that I’m not thrilled. I just don’t think I deserve it. I’m just a person who likes Christmas, OK? Who happened to write some songs.

 

Tell me about your childhood and what Christmas meant to you as young Mariah.

What are you trying to insinuate? As “little” Mariah, I think you meant.

Things could always be worse. A good portion of America is so deep in debt from gifts purchased two Christmases ago that little Timmy will probably open cards with IOUs instead of actual cash from grandma this year. Being famous and able to afford expensive gifts isn’t a bad thing. But for Mariah she’s such a diva that being privileged is actually a problem. Since you don’t want to be labeled queen you can be the “Cunt of Christmas.” Rolls right off the tongue. 

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