Kim Kardashian’s Friend Legally Changing Name To FoodGod

When you’re following in the Kardashian’s footsteps terrible life decisions aren’t too far behind. This might be the last article I write because I no longer find any use living in a world where Instagram is the primary influencer of all things real life. Contemplating going full Kurt Cobain right after this. Your legal name is not to be treated as a username. Just because social media allows you to identify as whatever dream profession you envision yourself as in your head it doesn’t mean you’re actually a photographer or food critic. That’s where Kim’s friend Jonathan Cheban comes in. He’s going to officially change his name to FoodG?d because sprinkling glitter in a latte and receiving an abundance of likes on social media makes you a deity of nourishment. I don’t even believe in the guy who fed a Woodstock crowd with seven loaves and some fish. Maybe if Jesus had an Instagram for me to follow I would believe some of these stories. But telling 12 people to write some unbelievably amazing stuff about you in a book is a story I’m not buying. Just like this false prophet of food Jonathan. 

Cheban, 43, is legally changing his name to “Foodg?d” — the brand he’s built over the years with a food-filled website and social media, PEOPLE confirms.

“People are constantly screaming Foodg?d as he walks down the street and showing up to restaurants while he is there, following his eating adventures,” a rep for the star tells PEOPLE. “It has become cult like.”

Page Six first reported the news, and Cheban revealed to the site that Kardashian West’s husband, Kanye, originally graced him with the moniker.

Believing in your brand in one thing but what Cheban is doing is obviously whoring out in an overcrowded opportunity. It all makes sense why Kim is BFF now. There’s Eater, Thrillist, Zagat and an everlasting list of overly qualified food blogs at everyone’s fingertips. There’s no room for you to believe you’re some sort of all-knowing authority on what the public should be eating. Whatever happened to eating food in order to not die? Now shops like Sweet Daze in Dallas are selling designer doughnuts and inspiring twinks like Cheban to believe he’s doing the public some sort of necessary service. Unless you’re able to turn water into wine before everyone’s eyes you should just stick to being Jonathan. Thanks in advance.  

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News / Backgrid USA / Getty Images