Jimmy Kimmel Raising His Kids Better Than You

Celebrities always manage to magnify average struggles and turn them into personal oppression to seek sympathy for. Just raising children is a task within itself. God forbid you have more than enough income to provide them with a higher quality of life and consider that to be spoiling them. It must be so traumatic for Jimmy Kimmel to afford daycare when necessary and organic foods without cancer causing color dyes. Celebrities always confuse privilege with problems. Especially when it comes to parenting. Having only enough money to decide between more diapers and an overdue doctor visit is a problem. Having to decide between an overpriced stroller or a shopping spree at FAO Schwarz is privilege. 

“Raising kids with money is a tricky thing,” he says. “You don’t want to just hand them everything. I don’t know the best way to go about it. I’ve concluded that pretending you don’t have money is not the best way, because kids aren’t stupid.”

“I can’t say what my parents said, which is, ‘We can’t afford the $60 to send you on a band trip.’ That won’t fly,” Kimmel notes.

“You know, there’s that urban legend about the kids who have a private jet and the first time they fly commercial they ask their father, ‘Why are all these people on our plane?’ ” Kimmel says. “I don’t ever want anything like that to happen.”

I don’t understand how pretending to be broke wouldn’t work. Maybe if you avoided purchasing cars that cost the amount of a house your kids would conclude you’re just like every other parent in the neighborhood. Then maybe you can actually involve yourself in parental duties necessary to the proper development of a child. Like explaining certain situations as they arise rather than worrying about owning an abundance of funds to care for your child. Surprise, they never have to see your bank account. Pretty sure family financial discussions are between mommy and daddy. Not mommy, daddy, and junior. But what do I know.