J Law Into Farmers Only

Jennifer Lawrence wants to leave Hollywood behind for a while. I would too after being “gang-banged by the entire planet.” I can no longer watch Hunger Games without fantasizing about how great Katniss Everdeen looks without clothes. God forbid naked photographs leak and knock you off your celebrity pedestal confirming what everyone already knew. You’re human. And sometimes humans take naked photographs of themselves. And sometimes those photos end up on the internet and the world has a united wank in your honor. For a brief moment in history you brought humanity together. Be grateful this isn’t the Grecian era and you had to sculpt your own nudes. Convenience is a blessing. But saying you want to go milk goats on a farm for the remainder of your life is a waste of talent and possible second happening of the fappening. 

In a new interview that was released online from ELLE on Saturday, and that will appear in the magazine’s November 2017 issue, J.Law hints at badly needing a break from the industry and fantasizes about living the simple life on the farm.

Even though she’s one of the highest-paid actresses in the world, she’s burned out on the life and, as she says, she’s ready for a bit more. 

“I want to get a farm … I want to be, like, milking goats.”

Who is left if Lawrence leaves the big screen? Jennifer Aniston is elderly and Scarlett Johansson is halfway complete with her transition into the Russian that fought Rocky Balboa. Barely bangable since she started serving herself second helpings of Bobby Flay’s meat and loosely loving SNL screenwriter Colin Jost. All we have left is Emma Stone and barely a few others. All actresses should be required to give two years notice before they call it quits. 

Photo Credit: Splash News / Getty Images / Backgrid USA