Harvard Now Has Introductory Classes On Anal

College, the scheme designed to take money from the poor and intellectually devoid in the form of overpriced books and filler majors is back at it with the shenanigans. Ambition can only get you so far when you’ve been an idiot your entire life. They know that you know the jig is up. Most colleges have a reputation for attracting more substance abusers, alcoholics, and losers at life than a Lady Gaga concert. Except for the prestigious schools. When they’re financially “effin you in the A” the least they can do is offer an introductory class on anal. And that’s exactly what Harvard is doing. Because you’ll need to learn safe sex practices after you graduate and are forced to sell prime real estate located in your anus just to pay student loans. 

Pupils at the nation’s No. 2 college learned how to relax their rectums and passed around butt plugs as they were schooled in the ins and outs of sodomy, the site reports.

“Not all men have penises, not all women have vaginas … the butthole is the great sexual equalizer. All humans have a butthole,” Natasha told the future leaders of America.

The class didn’t come with homework — but some lucky raffle winners did take home vibrators, and everyone walked away with free condoms and sex toy cleaners.

Amazing how there’s no classes on how to be a decent human being yet Anal 101 is a thing. At Harvard of all places. When tuition costs as much as one Lamborghini per semester why waste time with something you can learn on your own time. No pitching it to the butt box after she’s eaten Taco Bell or White Castles. You’re welcome. Also if she frequents either of those two places and considers them fine dining, wear a condom because she definitely has an STD. I used to feel left out for not being able to attend Harvard. But if they’re teaching that not all men have penises and not all women have vaginas I feel better about myself. Because how great can a place be when they’re implying women can get erections and men can get pregnant. Butt sex and the open denial of basic biology. Very scholarly.