Em Rata Selling Herself In Swimsuits

When you have no talent you better add selling yourself to your resumé. Why reinvent the wheel when you can just throw your name on it? Emily “Has A Lovely Rack” Ratajkowski was kind enough to provide the male population with more masturbation material in the form of her self-branded swimsuit photoshoot. A major step up from painted on Sports Illustrated bikinis. She’s taken the modern interpretation of the entrepreneurial route when it comes to her swimsuit line. I can put up my entire paycheck guaranteeing she’s not hand tailoring any thong in some third world sweat shop. But I’m pretty sure she points out her favorite designs while picking which colors go where and believes that’s actually considered doing most of the legwork. 

Emily Ratajkowski is apparently launching a swimsuit line called “Inamorata.” There couldn’t be a better brand name for such a thing, since one of that word’s most commonly-used meanings is “mistress.”

Having a great pair of tits will make people care about whatever it is that you’re involved in. I genuinely don’t see anything groundbreaking about her line of swimsuits other than she looks damn good in them. Inamorata is for women who long to look like the girl from Ipanema. But Frank is dead and so is chivalry when it comes to saying “ah” over any woman who looks like Rebel Wilson in a too small for her size two piece. With all this body positivity going around I have a feeling most of the available sizes will sit on shelves at select retailers. Em Rata is obviously selling to women who can fit through a European cafe doorway without assistance. I hope she doesn’t see any backlash because of it. 

Photo Credit: Instagram / Splash News