Dancing With the Stars Screwed Coma Girl (VIDEO)

If you’re closely following Dancing With the Stars, you’re likely a fan of cock or cats, but not the both. It’s a succinct means to explain the demo. You also witnessed one of the worst off-script moments in unscripted television.

The point of Dancing With the Stars is to find people in the 1,000 to 2,000 range on the Starmeter and pretend they’re beloved celebrities. The names are ones you may recall from somewhere in the past, now exploded onto the screen in promotional campaigns that would make you believe any of them have more than a couple hundred bucks in the bank. Or perhaps are seeking to curry favor with Disney/ABC. 

There appear to be about ten seasons of this show per year. It’s not like sequins and gay men pressing their hands dramatically against their cheeks is losing it’s audience base any time soon. ABC used to air Lost and Hill Street Blues and Twin Peaks and Moonlighting. Now it’s Samba class, on a budget.

The tear jerker contestant of the current season was clearly Victoria Arlen. She’s this woman from New Hampshire who at age eleven came down with a mysterious brain condition that left her in a virtual coma for four years, unable to communicate by any means whatsoever. She lost use of the lower half of her body for a decade. She trained to become a Paralympian in swimming and took several medals in London. Through rigorous therapy she regained sensation in her legs and only a year ago began walking fully. Now she’s on Dancing with the Stars. You don’t need to understand how reality television works to understand she’s supposed to win the damn contest and make America cry again (MACA).

Instead, exasperated judges gave the semi-final nod to Drew Scott, a guy with a house flipping show on HGTV. What genius pushed that idea in meetings?

Fans of DWTS have extremely high emotional IQs, if that terms means they’re super unstable and regularly contemplate stepping in front of a train. Many determined that Arlen was the superior dancer to Scott. They raged on social media, even while admitting Drew Scott is one incredibly nice guy. Such is the advantage of being a Home and Garden star. The entirety of the audience desperately wants you to meet their fat single daughter at a charming restaurant. 

Those who believe reality television is the filmed version of random happenstance are precisely the reason advertisers love to shill on those programs. Easy pickings. Maybe some of the dance reviews are authentic, but there’s certainly room for fixing fights. As in, you don’t can the contestant your entire demo is pulling for with the very strands of their stress pulled hair. Rookie move, DWTS. 

 Photo credit: ABC / DWTS