Tom Cruise Tapping Into a Little Weinstein

When even dudes in Hollywood who don’t even like women are hooking up young chicks with jobs and suddenly “seeing them” in private, maybe this town does have a problem.

According to gossip rags, Tom Cruise is infatuated with young British actress, Vanessa Kirby. She’s half his age, reminds of Nicole Kidman pre-surgeries, and likely keeps secrets super well. She sounds perfect for the next set of future ostracized children. He may choose soon to make kirby his fourth fake wife, depending on how the vetting goes down at Xenu Corp.

The story goes that Cruise was Kirby’s work in The Crown and immediately knew he had to work with her in the future. Cruise informed the other producers of Mission Impossible: 6 that Kirby would be perfect for some role or another on the film. They all agreed with Tom. He cuts the checks. Go figure. They never anticipated a girl problem on the set.

“They had instant chemistry, and of course she got the role. He’s blown her away with his endless charm and energy. He thinks she’s perfect to be his next wife.”

Though a very different sort of creepy end goals, this process sounds a ton like how Weinstein groomed his masturbation audience finalists. Spots a young chick in a movie you want to bone. Have casting bring her in. Experience instant chemistry in your office. Weinstein gets his sod rocks off. Cruise gets himself the perfect new Stepford. The latter will never be called out with the same disgust. 

These are all variations of the bizarre and often gross relationships of convenience between two willing parties in the entertainment industry. One who has impeccable tits and wants something, the other who is far older, richer, and also wants something. If you remove the semen aspects, it’s all kind of super natural.

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