Tila Tequila Anti-Muslim Crusader

When missionary and Tila Tequila are in the same sentence and it means spreading her beliefs instead of her legs it’s a clear sign the world is ending. Tequila isn’t too smart. She believes JLo is just a “Mexican with money” and in a new video she’s focused her hate on “fake Christians,” Muslims, and anyone darker than Jim Gaffigan. She states that since becoming a mother she now wants to play by the rules and laws of the land, conservative style. She’s anti-porn with two unsuccessful sex-tapes under her belt. Hypocrite hooker. Muslims at least have the support of anti-discrimination laws backing them from bigots. But when you come for the removal of places like Pornhub on the internet, you’ve just made things personal. 

The A Shot at Love star loves to record YouTube videos from her car and discuss who she believes are abominations in the eyes of the lord. According to Tila, this includes obese people, Muslims, and, of course, the Satanists of Hollywood! In the clip, the self-proclaimed “true voice of God” goes off on those who practice Islam for infiltrating the U.S. — thanks to Barack Obama, of course — and claims she is going to “smite every single one of you in Jesus’ name.

I’m all for a rehab that would focus on reintroducing washed up celebrities back into regular life as long as it isn’t funded by my tax dollars. Outside any actor on Game of Thrones no celebrity should be using the term “smite” to threaten anyone. Tila’s terminology alone alludes to her owning more than five fedoras and being solely attracted to shut-in forum warrior men with neckbeards. In the words of Antoine Dodson, “hide yo kids” because Tila is planning to smite your firstborns as well. The FBI would open an investigation against her, but there’s a statute of limitations for prosecuting people who use the word smite as an actual threat. Until then her rant just falls under a laughable seven minutes of free speech.