Thank God For Phoebe Price’s Parking Lot Ice Cream Taint

Before the rise of social media, aspiring Z-list celebrities had to air out their taints out in the real world to get attention – usually while crashing cars or shopping for bedazzled “cum magnet” onesies from Kitson on Robertson Blvd in 2005 – versus from the comfort of their own living rooms like today’s spoiled whores. And the OG sassy starlet Phoebe Price has been on the frontlines of the phenomenon for, judging by her face and body, I’d say about sixty-years, and shows no signs of slowing down. If anything Price is getting grosser as she circled the drain, and is pretty much the only one providing real entertainment value these days. 

Parking lots have always been Price’s Instagram. Dumpster-adjacent entrances to former Hollywood hotspots, her Snapchat. Today our droopy crimson-haired fleabag has once again inspired and moved audiences the world over, this time by dropping her ice cream in the parking lot, and then pretending to scrape it up with her hands while making sloppy love to the cameras. They don’t teach this kind of stuff. You’re born with it or you aren’t.

While the Jenndashians of the world hide behind their iPhones and Instagram filters while doing their hoing, Price offers a truly unfiltered look at celebrity. Crinkle fry thighs. Dollar General accessories. Busted stilettos. Any stars thinking they’re keeping it real need to think again. This is real. This is Hollywood. I damn near blew through my Backgrid photo limit for these pics, so I hope you enjoy the keepsake photos and possible desktop background options below.    

^{Photo Credit: Backgrid}