Honey Boo Boo’s Sister Unsurprisingly Uses Food To Reveal Baby Gender

Colors associated with gender are sexist if you’re a social justice warrior. You should obviously wait until your child is old enough to decide which gender of the 54 newly discovered ones they feel most comfortable identifying as. Because forcing those types of life choices on children isn’t wrong in any way. It was hard enough trying to decide which was even the right Pokémon to pick as a kid. And everyone who ended up choosing Bulbasaur most likely ended up a homosexual later on in life. Just sharing under researched facts. That didn’t stop Mama June’s Daughter Lauryn “Pumpkin” Shannon from sharing her baby’s gender reveal using food. Because when you’re overweight you want to incorporate as much food as you can into every aspect of your life. Is there a reveal color for going to have diabetes before the age of five? 

Before the reveal, Pumpkin admits, “I kind of want a girl because, of course, another me, duh!” And guess what? Pumpkin’s wish comes true, as it’s revealed she is in fact having a girl, which she finds out by—of course—biting into a cupcake that has pink frosting in the middle. “I freakin’ told y’all,” she says. “I don’t think you guys are ready for another me, I really don’t!” Pumpkin also reveals her biggest concern about having a girl: “She’s gonna wanna date and that is not on my f–king list! She’s at least going to have to be 45 before she goes on her first date.”

Pumpkin was excited to have another possible clone in the form of her own kid. Because who wouldn’t want another strong independent overweight woman walking this earth. Hopefully, Mama June’s child molester ex doesn’t get invited to babysit. Just like every other irresponsible pregnant teen she managed to be vocal about what her daughter is and isn’t allowed to do. Lauryn specifically stated that her unborn child is already not able to date until she’s walked the earth for 45 years. If she’s anything like mom her weight should be a great deterrent and natural defense against sensible men. The only options until that time is for her loving daughter to evolve into a feminist or lesbian and attend eateries that charge 18% “mad at men” tax. Already mom of the year and her daughter isn’t even here.